A TRIP TO THE MAUSOLEUM 31/05/09

Ho Chi Minh memorial - Hanoi

Uncle Ho's 'humble' stilted house

Changing of the guards

Well we survived it, though Western was told off on three separate occassions for having his hands reverentially clasped behind his back rather than down by his sides. Ells decision not to wear her bikini was also a good one. It was a curious experience, hundreds/thousands qeueing, a handful of Westerners, escorted by white uniformed guards, the queue moving slowly, we arrive at the mausoleum after about 20 minutes, inside its very cool, and is made of marble, before we know it, its over, we have passed by the father of the nation, who is lying with hands folded across his lower stomach, looking frighteningly fresh and clean, he is certainly not a dirty 'Ho', and we are outside again being directed to the Ho Chi Minh museum. This happens 5 times a week, between 8-11am, I am not sure that we have anyone in the UK that would bring the crowds out in such regular high numbers? Winston? The only similar experience for me, was 'The Last Post' commemorative service at Ypres.

UNCLE HO 31/05/09

Tomorrow, we finally come face to face with the embalmed Uncle Ho at the mausoleum. We will have to be on our best behaviour, no shorts, t-shirts or hats to be worn, and certainly no breaking of wind - that would carry a heavy fine and possible imprisonment. We are confident that we will be seeing the man himself, and not the body double used when the 'original' is in for servicing.

HALONG ..... has this been going on (groan)!

2 x glorious nights aboard the 'Pinta Gold', a 24 berth junk cruising around the limestone pinnacles of halong bay - a real Vietnam highlight with its breathtakingly beautiful scenery. 22 people left the harbour and fortuitously, 20 chose the 1 night option which meant that Pugwash & Bates had the 2nd day to themselves. We were moved onto a smaller boat, and taken off to the outer limits of the park and fed a delicious lunch. We felt like we had won 'Blind Date'...'you'll be sure to come back next week and tell us how you got on...', of course we will Cilla.

HANOI 23-26/-5/09

Early morning strolls through Hanoi's excellent parks

The Opera House

Beer junction

Ah this is more like it - farewell 'Hotel Humping' and hello 'Hotel Sunrise 3' - $18 for a room including breakfast and internet connection, located smack bang in the Old Quarter of Hanoi, surrounded by cheap eats, travel agents, fruit & flower sellers and roadside bars that sell local beer at 8p/half pint....and its good, not gassy or too strong.

There is a specific area called 'Beer junction' in the old quarter, each corner has a bar, you wouldn't really notice it was a bar - just a regular shop with lots of small plastic red chairs outside, and by the early evening, all of them are buzzing, people squatting 8 inches off the ground, slurping away, whilst vendors circle, some selling photocopied bestsellers, others offering doughnuts, and some grilling up fresh squid on a rack over a flower pot full of coals - the junction is busy with motorbikes criss crossing back & forth. The young men and women who carry around the boxes of books rather like old cinema ice cream ladies also offer 'massage' or 'marijuana' if you dont want a book!

I have purchased a new camera, and am absolutely thrilled with it. It has given me a real kick up the ass to go out and take more shots, so I have been getting up at 6am to watch the locals exercising - a very entertaining photo assignment - all ages, meditating , playing badminton, tai-chi-ing, jogging, line dancing with fans - its a visual feast - the camera's so bloody complicated mind you that after a couple of reads through the quick start manual I am barely able to get the lens cap off - I feel such a fraud having such a fine piece of equipment! but I am studying hard, honest its just that my brain is made of pate after not having concentrated on anything for such a long time.

FAREWELL TO KL 23/05/09

We took great satisfaction on our final night at 'Hotel Humping'. We had to get up at 3.45 for the Hanoi flight - so we made SURE that our neighbours got up with us. We filled a bath with taps on full bore - it sounded like Iguasu Falls - then promptly drained it. We talked loudly "Have you seen my socks El?"... You're wearing them," and we blew a couple of thunderous raspberries - "Ooh, pardon me ", before turning both neighbours' 'Do not disturb' signs to 'Please make up my room' - oh how petty, but oh how wonderful. I would have sung the national anthem if I'd have thought of it.

FULL OF THE JOYS OF SPRING ROLLS 22-05-09

The Pelangi beach resort bar, manged by Malaysia's very own David Brent

The stupendous Petronas Towers back in KL

Night market in Kuah Town, Langkawi

Pay your money, and these fish will eat all of the dead skin off your feet, very ticklish

Writing from a room that smells like steak and kidney pudding, sounds good if its a kitchen, but not if its your bedroom. Huge cheap hotel in KL with paper thin walls and air vents that convince you that your neighbours are in the room with you. A couple of nights back, we had to put up with an hour of bedroom gymnastics, when 'Harry met Sally' in KL, most unsettling.

We're off to Hanoi tomorrow (saturday), Vietnam part 2 - looking forward to those delicious soups, and the landscapes of Halong Bay, and the mountains around Sapa, before crossing into China. Keeping our fingers crossed mind for the weather, as we are running a little late!

May's traveller of the month award goes to Ell's sister Maria for finding 5-star accommodation in Langkawi at backpackers' prices. The Pelangi Beach Resort was a superb hotel - filled with Arab and Russian h0lidaymakers - a visual treat with headache inducing Hawaiin shirts and shorts next to full black Islamic dress. The breakfasts were magnificent - it would have been possible to have eaten for 3 hours and still not have tried everything. Catering for everyone, they served up noodles and rice porridge, indian breads and curries, full european style fry ups (admittedly with chicken sausages and beef bacon), and home made muesli with yoghurts - an exceptional start to our days of lounging around a large kidney shaped pool, playing italian cards, drinking campari and occassionally plopping into the water.

We said farewell to Maria last friday at Langkawi airport after a final traditional Malay meal courtesy of the Kenny Rogers chain of restaurants - thats right, he of the 'you picked a fine time to leave me Lucille.....four hungry children and a crap in the field'. His chicken is on a par with his music. Oh god, next door are at it again.

We have been holed up in 'Hotel Humping' since last weekend, took a few days to get our Vietnam visa, which again seemed to cost an arbitrary amount, (at least they're consistent), and we have been busy going to the cinema - at less than 2 quid a time its good value, and its air-con. Have seen 5 films - an excellent french thriller - 'Rivals', and a very entertaining 'Love you Man' (really expecting the worst there) - 'Wolverine' and 'Mongol' were ok, and the real turkey was 'Angels & Donuts'. We have made some excellent purchases this week - Ell with 3 quality pairs of glasses, and me a camera and a watch thats time is correct twice a day.

THE WONDERS OF RICE

In 5 weeks, Western has encountered about 3 bald Vietnamese men, they are convinced that their diet is what leads them to have such healthy amounts of hair. Well, after 35 days, I think you'll agree that it has had a pretty dramatic effect. Not quite as good as Austin Healeys, but nevertheless far more convincing than that buffoon Berlusconi.

THE M'NONG VILLAGE AT LAK LAKE

Inside the long house

Check out the breast ladders - women run this joint

Ell nicks the kids sweets

When we return to Vietnam in a few weeks, we expect to spend a bit of time amongst the various ethnic goups of the NW, but the central highlands also supports many ethnic groups who have often been at loggerheads with the government. We spent a few hours with the M'nong near Lak Lake - expert rice growers and elephant herders. The women head up the village and each family of 3 generations live in one long house with no internal walls. Houses made of natural material with absolutely no metal - encourages evil spirits, front door faces sunrise, and number of windows in house indicates the number of daughters - windows open means daughter married. Before they settle on a site for their village, they dig a hole and fill it with food (rice and corn) after 3 days they return, if ants have moved in, they don't use the site. This was very similar to the way we chose 235 Madgalen Road. They are wonderfully self-sufficient, work hard in the morning, relax in the afternoon, and now believe it or not they can watch telly in the evening as 2 years ago they had electricity. Perhaps this village would have been the perfect role-model of Pol Pots agrarian revolution that went so horrendously wrong in Cambodia.

Tomorrow we are off to KL to meet Ell's sister Maria, or a holiday from a holiday....Again!

OUR GUIDE, NGHIEP

On the right, with the elders

45 years old, born at My Lai, moved away from the area by his mother to the safer city of Dalat. Now, one of the younger Easy Riders, in his own words "He has married rice but also like noodle.....sometimes instant noodle." He laughs machine gun style at his own jokes like CJ in the unbeatable 'Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin'. He has 1 front tooth, speaks excellent english but unfortunatley supports Chelsea. He has superb first hand knowledge of this central area and the battle sites, and though a passionate supporter of his government offers a well-rounded appraisal of the turbulent years of his lifetime. His family was particularly scared of the South Korean troops fighting here more than any other and is obviously emotional at the number of untrained vietnamese soldiers whose graves dot the landscape. Most of his colleagues in the Easy Riders were from the South and their bikes have given them something to do as continuing to be teachers, doctors or police under the 'new' regime was impossible.

Excellent reconteur and proud communist and buddhist (how does that work?), he was especially interested in Ell's hungarian dad and we received looks of respect from the family elders at our leaving meal, Ell for being a fellow comrade and Western for a thoroughly professional display of rice wine drinking. Anyone around the table can propose a toast and they determine whether you drink 50% or drain the glass - mostly we drained the glass - "My head was beating like a song by The Clash" but I dug deep and stayed till the bitter end ( 5 litres) with the old boys saying "You are Number 1, You are Number 1" - I wouldn't disagree! Later, back at the hotel I tried to take my underpants off over my head.

GOAT BAR B Q with the Easy Riders

First night with the Easy Riders and during the day they sounded us out about what food we'd be up for - to be honest we are game for most things so we arrived half expecting a 'Yappy Meal' but no, it was time for goat BBQ. Everything on the menu was goat - male goat mostly - apparently more flavoursome. We started with deliciously tender dark meat, which you put into a local leaf and add other herbs, fold and dip into a chilli sauce - excellent! Second course seemed to translate as goat udder - barbequed in front of us on a small clay pot - but male udder.......what could this be? Actually, this rather reassuringly was from the female - very fatty and rich but a very good taste. Third course - goat curry served with french bread - again delicious, washed down with Saigon beer.....Yo!

THE EASY RIDERS OF DALAT April 30th

Freshly spun silk

lunch day 2

On the way top Dalat

rice noodle

Tuan on the left with Nghiep

The Easy Riders in the central highland town of Dalat were formed after the civil war - those from the defeated south were often taken to re-education camps, and ex-doctors or teachers would struggle to find employment in this area under the new communist set up. There was however, after the war an occassional need for returning US soldiers to be taken around battle sites of the central highlands - and with the local infrastructure on its knees motorbikes became the prefered option. 30 or so years on the organisation now boasts 83 freelance bikers, with a collective responsibility to uphold their reputation for local insight and safe riding - and our 2 were great.

We had 3 days of driving through dense coffee and rubber plantations as well as stretches of countryside blighted by napalm and agent orange. We visited the cottage industies of rock-sugar production, shrimp farming, tapioca farming, mulberry leaf-munching silk worms, and silk production factories. We saw rice noodle and rice wine production, tea and pepper estates, 3 beautiful waterfalls, strategic military sites and memorials, elaborate wood carvings made from giant tree roots, beehives and finally a fascinating visit to the ethnic M'nong village at Lak Lake.